BY
CAROLANN VIOLA
AS TOLD TO
PAT BANTA KREML

When I was 28 years old, I prayed diligently for a husband. I longed for a faithful partner who would love and cherish me, and who I could love and cherish in return. Many nights I sat alone and prayed, “Lord, please send a man into my life SOON. I’m so lonely, and not getting any younger You know. Oh, and Lord, it wouldn’t hurt if he were strong and handsome too. Amen.”

Then one day, several years later, Anthony Alphonse Viola came into my life. I can’t say it was love at first sight, but we were attracted to each other. The more we saw of each other, the more I came to love all the qualities that made Tony such a wonderful man. He was soft spoken, hard working, honest, firm in his beliefs, and he was totally loyal to those he loved. Soon respect turned into infatuation, and infatuation turned into something deeper, until one day I knew that Tony Viola was the husband I’d prayed for. Tony gave his heart to the Lord during pre-marital counseling, and soon after we married.

Our love continued to grow deeper and sweeter with each passing year. God blessed us with two beautiful daughters—Renee and Nadine. Before we knew it, twenty-eight years had flown by. Our daughters were grown and God had led us to a wonderful church—Winter Haven Worship Center. We felt we were just getting to the good part of life; that we would have many wonderful years to grow old together and enjoy each other. But that was not to be.

In July of 2006, I noticed some small lumps on the back of Tony’s neck. The possibility of cancer loomed large before us, but I chose to put my trust in God. The oncologist from Winter Haven Hospital performed a biopsy, and a week later called with the results.

“Mr. Viola, you have stage four CLL—Chronic Lymphoma Leukemia. I won’t try to kid you, there’s not much chance of recovery. You have maybe six months to live. We need to start treatment as soon as possible.”

We were stunned. Tony hadn’t even felt ill, and now we were being told he was dying. The report of man spoke death, but I chose to believe God’s Word of life. And so the battle for Tony’s physical and my spiritual life began.

In August we took our youngest daughter, Nadine, to Tallahassee to start her first year at FSU. Subtly our lives had begun to change. Both our girls were out perusing their own lives. It was back to Tony and me; just the two of us. But not for long. Within a few days Tony checked into the Celebration Hospital to begin an intensive round of chemotherapy. It was so hard leaving Tony to face the ordeal alone, but I had to return to work as a substitute teacher. Soon the bills would be piling up, and we needed all the income we could get. As usual, Tony was the strong one. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes that always melted my heart and said, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You do what you have to do.”

“I love you, you know,” I said.

“I know,” Tony said. “And you are the love of my life.”

I carried those words with me all the way home; let them warm my heart. Tony’s long battle had begun. I knew I had to be strong.

A few days later I sat at home in our computer room where I did my daily devotions. I opened my Bible and began to read about Joshua and the battle of Jericho. All of a sudden, a victory shout rose up in me. As soon as I shouted like the children of Israel, holy laughter bubbled over and filled the room. It was a wonderful release to feel the blessing of God, and to know He was working in Tony’s body to restore total healing and health. Although I didn’t realize it, He was working in me too.

That night I called Tony. “How are you feeling, honey?” I asked.

“I feel wonderful. The doctors say my blood work looks good. White count is dropping,” he said.

Tony sounded so peaceful. So normal in spite of the fact that he was on a maximum course of chemotherapy. That night I understood what my mother meant when she would sing, “It is joy unspeakable and full of glory…and the half has never yet been told.”

Over the next few months we celebrated victories and held fast to our faith through each setback. Chemo was helping, but it was a deterrent at best. We needed a miracle. One day Dr. Aktar, from Celebration Hospital, sat us down and told us honestly, “Tony’s best chance for long term remission is a bone marrow transplant. We can look for a compatible donor through the National Registry, but the best match usually comes from a biological family member.”

To me, the transplant offered hope. Hope that Tony would go into full remission and regain his strength. Hope that I could enjoy many years to come with the man I so desperately loved. When Tony’s brother, Michael, tested as a perfect match, I saw it as the answer to my prayers.

On June 13, 2007 the Lord reminded me of the words to an old song and wrote them in my journal: “Faith in God can move a mighty mountain. Faith in God can calm a troubled sea. Faith can make the desert like a fountain. Faith will bring the VICTORY.” I found strength and courage in every word.

Tony was hospitalized to prepare for the transplant. He had to remain in a germ free environment, so once more we were separated. Many nights I lay alone in our bed battling thoughts of doubt and fear. During those times I looked to the many scripture verses the Lord had impressed upon my heart. Verses like: Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble.” Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear. The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom should I be afraid.” and Psalm 91:15 “He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in times of trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.”

Each time I encouraged myself in the Word, I held the enemy at bay. As I look back now, I realize I also held the Lord at bay too. If I had listened closer, I would have realized He was trying to prepare my heart for the pain to come. Still, God faithfully imparted peace to my soul. I knew He was with me and that He would sustain me.

The transplant was a success. By December of 2007 Tony was much better. My wonderful husband was home with me at last. We decorated for Christmas with special joy and rejoicing. The leukemia was in full remission, and we could look back on so many miracles God had done to bring us through. All we needed now was for Tony’s immune system to begin to function normally. But that was not to be. First bacteria and fungus infiltrated his sinus cavities, then one infection after another followed. Tony was in and out of the hospital numerous times. He endured dialysis, several surgeries, and so many rounds of harsh meds until eventually his body refused to bounce back. Finally, he collapsed at home the morning of a scheduled doctor’s visit. Pneumonia had set in.

I called 911 immediately, but when the paramedics arrived, Tony said, “No. I’m not going back to the hospital.”

He looked so weak and frail. He needed help. Surely the doctors could do something. In desperation I cried, “Please Tony. I’m begging you. Please go. I love you and I’m not giving up.”

In the end, the choice was Tony’s, and I finally realized how selfish I had been. For a long time Tony had been ready to go on to be with Jesus, but his love for me and the girls would not allow him to give up and let us down. He had been totally unselfish in his love for me. Willingly he had endured two years of physical torture so he could hold on for me; the woman he had declared for 30 years was “the love of his life.”

I never wanted to give up hope. I loved Tony so much that I would have done anything to keep him with me, but I knew it was my turn to be unselfish. With our daughters standing near, I took Tony’s hand in mine and gazed into the face of the most wonderful man I had ever known. Then I spoke the hardest words I’d ever had to say, “I love you, but you can go now.” Moments later, he was with Jesus.

My true love came to me late in life and left too soon. I do grieve, “but not as one who has no hope.” Satan thought he would destroy my faith and devastate my spiritual walk, but just the opposite occurred. My faith emerged stronger, my walk with the Lord truer. How could I not believe and continue to trust God when I witnessed so many miracles and answers to prayer during Tony’s two-year ordeal.

For now, Tony is with Jesus and I am left here on this earth, but I am NOT ALONE. I have the Holy Spirit’s comfort, the Church family’s support, and Tony’s legacy—our two beautiful daughter and 30 years of memories—to warm my heart. I know God’s grace is sufficient for me, therefore I declare: Satan, you lose. Death is swallowed up in victory! Amen.

Carolann and Tony were married for thirty wonderful years. She serves the Lord as part of the choir/worship team at Winter Haven Worship Center and works as a substitute teacher for the public school system in Polk County.